Album Review: 09Jan2016 – by The Rudy Blues

A faux music review

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There are few things in music today as mind-numbingly dull as the recent effort, titled, rather unoriginally, 09Jan2016, by the plebeian recording artists The Rudy Blues. From the opening strains of the lead track “Feed the Cat” to the dull thud that ends the closing track, “Over at Last”, the listener is assaulted with a cornucopia of monotonous retreads and second-rate remixes of old saws. That any label saw fit foist this atrocity upon an unwitting public is in itself a travesty.

Aztec_drums,_Florentine_Codex.The opening track is a cacophony of noise that sounds alternately like slippers shuffling across sand covered linoleum punctuated by what sounds like pebbles dropping into a ceramic bowl and cat-like shrieking yowls, which brought back haunting memories of the early vocal stylings of Yoko Ono. The second track, “Reliving Relieving”, is little more than the sounds one would hear by suspending a microphone in a storm sewer during a downpour, sans the calming effect that the lighter rain has after the storm passes. The thunderous flush of a commode marks the welcome end to a real stinker.

The album careens through a series of uninspired pieces of unintelligible trash, such as the thoroughly repetitious “Breakfast Break” (more pebbles hitting ceramics with some sounds that resemble a rushing stream) and the equally confusing “Pondering Papers”, which sounds like a continuous loop of a Tasmanian devil opening presents on Christmas morning. “Mid Morn Nap” is a welcome relief, as it is nothing more than yawning silence punctuated by periodic snoring.

When the final thud of “Over at Last” is done reverberating in one’s ear (it sounds a bit like a limp body striking an extra-firm mattress), it’s a fair question to ask, is it really over at last? Will this be the release that spells the end of The Rudy Blues long slog? Luckily, sales are abysmal, with only one unit to date, so mankind may have dodged yet another bullet from these hacks. But this author supposes that, no, there will be more like 09Jan2016 from the like of The Rudy Blues. We can only steel ourselves for the inevitable. It is with great regret that I award this album a rating of B+, since they paid me to write this.

B+

Author: rudyblues57

A fellow traveler in our journey around the neighborhood thermonuclear explosion. Full of random thoughts and esoteric observations about the human condition, how we treat each other, and other detritus of life.

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